Gift giving has been an important tradition in every culture across the world for all of human history.
This deeply symbolic custom is built into our nature, regardless of the love language that we most identify with. In many unspoken ways, it affirms the status of our relationships and the intention we bring to them.
While this can be an incredibly beautiful and sentimental process, many of us experience a lot of stress when trying to find that “perfect” gift.
After all, our modern culture tends to skew the value of material things. We may find ourselves feeling defeated because the trendiest new item already ran out of stock, or embarrassed because we can’t afford to splurge on something lavish.
Fortunately, giving a good gift is about so much more than fads and fees.
So what actually makes a gift good, then?
Every person is unique, so there is no one-size-fits-all formula for choosing a gift that will be loved and cherished.
However, there is one universal rule of thumb to consider:
The intention of a gift is to strengthen your bond.
A gift has the greatest impact when it makes the receiver feel understood.
A heartfelt gift provides a certain type of validation that words alone cannot. It reflects that you pay careful attention to what makes the receiver who they are and the current circumstances of their life. It can also reflect your appreciation for what the receiver contributes to the world and your relationship.
This is why the gifts we choose are so significant to the health of our connections.
Before selecting a gift for your loved one, consider these three questions:
- What do they value?
While your aunt that refurbishes vintage items may be thrilled about receiving a unique statement necklace you found at the antique store, your minimalist sister may not be so excited by an accessory that can’t be worn on a daily basis.
How people assign value to things varies based on their personality and background. Think carefully about their moral beliefs, interests, lifestyle, and major character traits.
- What are their needs?
Giving a gift that fulfils a need or relieves a burden shows that you care about the receiver’s quality of life.
These gifts tend to have more value over the long term because your loved one will continue to be impacted by your thoughtful gesture regularly.
- What do they aspire to?
Gifts that help the receiver move closer towards the person they want to become also carry a lot of weight.
A new business owner might really appreciate a well-structured planner that’s packed with exercises for sustainable growth. A budding yogi might feel similarly about a six-month subscription to their favourite studio.
Ultimately, the process of thoughtful gift-giving starts long before the special occasion that requires a gift. To master this art, it’s important to practice active listening that also observes what is being communicated without words.
When we choose a gift that reflects this level of care and intention, its value becomes absolutely priceless.